Happy Valentine’s Day, Med Nerds!
My heart is beating in Normal Sinus Rhythm, i.e. yes, I’m still alive even if I haven’t posted a blog entry in ages. I’ve been working more than I should. Speaking of, I’ll be working the evening/overnight shift as a Hospitalist tonight. With the boyfriend – who sets my heart aflutter (s. tach) – on the other side of the country, I’ll be counting on entertainment sourced from my evening spent skulking around the ER and the ward rooms.
Even when it’s not a lovey-dovey holiday, the evening shift usually includes some hilarious but inappropriate statements from the elderly gents, some of whom have a dementia so profound that they can’t remember if they can remember. Their jovial come-ons are halfway between charming and uncomfortable: “If I knew you’d be my doctor, I would’ve tried harder to be sick,” “Pardon me, I think my blood pressure will be a little high if you’re the one taking it,” or “If I were 50 years younger, well I . . . you had better watch out! Well, anyway, I’m 82 now, I’m just a little slower than I used to be.”
The acutely psychotic younger men and the drunk teenagers are more direct, and that stuff is far too scary to publish here. There was however one teenager who tried to take a page from the old man’s book. He’d been drunk on a bike and hit his head, not wearing a helmet. I was examining him in the ER and when I asked about diplopia (double vision), his response was “well, I’m only seeing one of you, and you are looking mighty fine!” It was hard not to snicker the whole way back to the charting area.
Hopefully tonight will provide some new gems to smile about. And for your smile, I give you this highly-educational mnemonic dance video for various heart rhythms: