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At the end of (another) day

October 26, 2010

I’ve got a post on pap-tests drafted since there’s a national campaign to promote pap screening by GPs. I’ve also got a goofy one about a sphygnmmanometer near completed and have yet to document the Case of the Sleeping LMCC Examiner. I have not posted any quality entries because this has been a HARD month. I am absolutely enjoying trying hospitalist practice, but this has also been one of the toughest months for me. I feel like I’ve found my niche at the same time as I feel like the world is conspiring to crush me, be it at work, regarding my education, in relationships, or even in the simple things in life.

Over the last 24 hours, I:

– was dog tired from stressing about a presentation and a patient family meeting the night before
– didn’t get to do my presentation
– didn’t have a good lunch
– forgot to pee for 10 hrs
– worked far too long on one case; took many hours of phone-calls to arrange the most difficult discharge ever
— had an obviously frustrated tone of voice in front of the patient, and somewhat with the patient’s family (I usually pull it together and try hard to not let any ‘attitude’ be displayed)
– had another near-discharge patient fail to go (she puked, all secondary to a medication I put her on)
– cried in front of my supervisor
– have not been able to find my stethoscope or reflex hammer, making me wonder if I left them in another city where I did my test [This would be the FIRST time I lost my stethoscope]

On the plus, I:

+ ate great Thai food and drank a beer with a long-lost friend
+ rocked out to “Thriller” in the car on the way home
+ got a no-hassles refund from my cell phone company for a bunch of incoming long-distance charges that were legit but clearly an abuse of their power
+ had  friends who care remind me that they care
+ learned that I’ll do my presentation on Friday and this now will include lunch!
+ totally survived a “family meeting” according to the allied health who attended it with me; managed to listen at the same time as pushing my recommendations and coming to compromise that seemed to appeal to all of us
+ had a really caring supervisor remind me that I was doing a good job and that it was okay to be a mess as it showed that I really cared
+ got my near-Christmas on-call shift covered by un ami fantastique(!) so I can go to spend Christmas with my family by a reasonable date
+ was able to tell my old goofy patient that he wouldn’t need a pacemaker

9 Comments leave one →
  1. Richard permalink
    October 27, 2010 6:51 am

    I think I’d rather have a doctor that stands a chance of crying than one who couldn’t.

  2. October 27, 2010 12:25 pm

    If I forgot to pee for 10 hours, I would be crying too!

    Seriously, it sounds like you have a great supervisor and good friends, those are some big positives that will help keep you sane.

    I’m dying now to hear about the sleeping examiner…even more than pap tests.

    • October 28, 2010 12:03 am

      I have a bladder like a camel has a, uh…
      I don’t know how to make that analogy but lets just say I’m due for early renal failure thanks to the on the job “there-is-no-time-to-pee” training.

      I will write something about that soon, first I wanted to write to the MCC people in case they had a witty response. Or one that I could make fun of, at least.

  3. November 23, 2010 8:24 am

    I just book marked your blog on Digg and StumbleUpon.I enjoy reading your commentaries.

  4. Kelsey permalink
    November 25, 2010 11:20 pm

    I do that at my clinical all the time! Forget to pee that is. It has yet to cause me any serious pain but it get uncomfortable at times and also increases my awareness that I must not be drinking enough water if I can hold my pee for that long!

    • November 26, 2010 12:02 am

      correctomundo! minimal fluid intake is also part of my busy-day-problem.

  5. December 21, 2010 11:40 am

    As a nurse, although I’m still a baby in my journey, I’ve yet to see many doctors who seem to have your compassion. I don’t know if any of the doctors I’ve worked with ever cry. It’s definitely okay to be a mess sometimes. Why are we in this field if we can’t let our emotions show sometimes. Yes, we’re supposed to be the strong ones and keep it together most of the time, but we are still also human, and I believe patients, for the most part, like to see that we have emotions as well. We shouldn’t be expected to be heartless. We’re nurses and doctors for goodness sake! We have to have heart to do what we do every single day of our lives! 🙂

    • December 26, 2010 11:14 pm

      awe shucks, you are very kind

      I think you are right about showing emotions- one of the main reasons I blog is to show that (some) doctors are humans too. I have a lot of respect for nurses because in many cases, they get to know patients even more intimately than a doctor does, and this means stronger emotions and tougher ‘boundaries.’

      p.s. I feel you on the “wish I was on that path” sentiments in your posts. Try hard or not try at all to be settled, and things just don’t seem to fall into place for me either.There is plenty of other stuff keeping me busy in the meantime though. I don’t have a God but I’m leaving it up to atoms 🙂

    • December 27, 2010 4:09 pm

      I appreciate that you blog to show you have emotions. And I appreciate your respect. When I was younger, I planned on becoming a doctor. I wanted to work my way up, starting as a nurse and so on, but when I got into nursing school and started my clinicals, I saw that nurses have much more time with (and, more often than not, really get to know) their patients. That is why I decided not to go to medical school. As much as I’d like to be the “change,” I know it’s not necessarily a realistic dream. We all get caught up in the everyday hustle and bustle and can lose sight of what’s important, but I try to remind myself daily it’s more than my job, it’s my life. Changing lives and healing is what I believe I was born to do.

      And yes, there are definitely more emotions and tougher ‘boundaries.’ I appreciate immensely that you realize such, but also that you’re not afraid to feel those emotions. Like I said, many doctors would never admit such feelings.

      p.s. Thank you for the encouragement. I look forward to reading more from you 🙂

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